80s Hair. Yes, 80s Hair. Let’s Judge.

I have extremely mixed feelings on this Spring’s 80s hair trends. Let’s take them one by one.

First up…Deep Side Parts

Jury says: Yea

Source

Well this is clearly a great idea. I prefer my natural middle part, but I also understand that a side part is far more flattering on many, myself included. I distinctly recall a moment early in my beauty school days, when Sally, the owner of our school and veteran of multiple State Boards of Cosmetology, came to teach us some basics. She pushed her glasses up on the bridge of her…not insignificant…nose and quickly finger-parted her pixied hair straight down the middle. Holding both sides firmly down against her temples, she swooped around the room, stopping at our tables to look seriously at each of us, as she claimed in no uncertain terms that middle parts were just wrong on some faces.

Let me be clear: I have seen many a Patrician nose set squarely beneath a middle part and look just as beautiful as a teeny button nose under the same. But this deeper-than-normal side part trend gives people who are less confident in certain features a stylish out. It has my full support!

Next on the docket…Perms

Jury says: Nay

I know that the perms of 2017 differ from the perms of 1986. I know this, in my head, but my heart just can’t get over the smell of a perm, the moment of terror that accompanies unwrapping your mannequin head in the beauty school shampoo bowl, and you have creased ends because you did a subpar job with the end papers. Despite my brief flirtation with the idea of getting a body wave, I will, in my soul, never be a perm-vocate.

Third up…The Wet Look

Jury says: Nay

 Source Glamour UK

As the kind of person who can’t even leave her house post-shower without at least hitting her strands with a Featherweight 2, I am fundamentally opposed to going about your business day with actual wet hair, so in no way can I support the fake wet. This look is also more 90s than 80s, but it’s cropped up in a few other subsets of the 80s revival, like perms (worn crunchy) and deep side parts (worn as though you’ve just tossed it to one side to get it out of the way), so we will include it for the purposes of this article.

Last place…Graphic Hair

Jury says: Maybe?

Hairder Ackerman Hair

This has a huge range of options, from smoothly backcombed half-up styles to what came across on the runway as a ridiculously gelled homage to A Flock of Seagulls, though it was intentioned as a play off Bird of Paradise flowers. The half-ups, I can get behind.

I’ve even worn super weird hair. (The picture you see was the day my beauty school mates decided to give me “anime hair.” People never believe me when I say I’ve done it all….)

But for most of us, there’s a limit to how graphic we should go. It’s one thing to go crazy heading to the farmer’s market with the kids, or to the club with friends, it’s another thing entirely to wear a graphic style to the office. Say what we may about the fashionable women who write this blog, the D.C. area as a whole isn’t super big into sculptural hairstyles on the daily.

What are your favorite and least favorite 80s hair trends that are making a comeback? Let us know in the comments!

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