When I receive calls, emails, and intake forms from prospective clients, I often hear statements like:

"I've tried everything and don't have the body I want."

"My body is changing, and I have no clue how to fix it."

"What happened to my 30-year-old body? I want it back!"

"I don't feel good physically about myself."

I can feel the pain of the women seeking my help. I've been there and know the torture of waking up every morning believing your body is in a war against you.

I have worked with so many who seek this "perfect" body, unrealistically striving for something we all know doesn't exist. Yet, I have seen how small shifts in how we perceive ourselves and our lives can change this "dinosaur" way of thinking.

Instead of seeking happiness and confidence through the lens of how our bodies look, what if we dug deeper and chose to thank it for all it gives us? For me, I never imagined the life I have. I live in a vibrant city with a collection of wonderful friends, an active Faith life, and I am about as healthy as I can be. My children bring me joy daily, and I am able to make choices I never imagined growing up in Garden Grove, California.

What if we began to seek a higher goal of health? As we age, we want to seek practices that help us ward off illness, increase immunity, and, yes, with these practices, look better. For me, the life with which I have been Blessed motivates me to want to continue as long as possible. My mom passed away when our children were just one year old. This, too, motivates me to live - ably and well - as long as possible.

Our society places an inordinate emphasis on how we look, particularly our bodies' appearance and shape. Marketing companies make billions telling us to use products or services to look a certain way. We receive around 4,000 ads per day. In turn, we spend billions to look a certain way, mainly for others perception of ourselves.

Below are three simple ways you can take charge of you, your health, and your wellness and re-frame how you view your body:

1. Approach your body with the "Abundant Mindset."

A Yale study recently found those with a positive mindset, on average, lived 7.5 years longer than those with a negative worldview. According to a cool article in Medium.com by Jerrod Barnes, the abundant and scarcity mindset are inner states that manifest as our reality.

Perceiving your life - and your body - through the scarcity mindset can lead to a roller coaster ride of always seeking new ways to "get that body." Whereas the abundant mindset takes a different approach to gratitude, which is always a great confidence boost!

Thank your body every morning for what it gives to you - instead of focusing on how it "lacks" in the best arms/legs/tummy or whatever you believe you want. It would look something like this:

"Thank you, body, for giving me my legs to walk to the kitchen and prepare dinner for my family."

"Thank you, body, for giving me the brain to engage in active discussions in my job."

The possibilities are limitless!

2. Shift how you approach your diet and exercise.

Borrowing from #1, perceiving your body as a gift and a blessing shifts how you treat it. Instead of "punishing" your body with diet and exercise programs, re-frame how you treat your most precious gift: your body.

As crazy as it may sound, give your body what it needs: love, attention, self-care, and recognize the signs it sends to you when it is "off." For me, that means when I notice I am edgy or "amped up/reactive," it's usually a sign I need to rest and take a break from blue light and distractions, and yes, maybe even cancel a meeting or workout.

It's not okay to punish your body with various forms of exercise - or food trends - that can do more harm than good. So instead of counting calories, making up for "poor choices" with a race to the gym for a "punishment," nourish your body with what it needs to give you the active life you've been given. It will reward you greatly.

Are you still convincing yourself your lack of body confidence has to do with food and exercise? Try this one!

3. Finally, remember YOU ARE NOT YOUR BODY.

You are not your dress size. You are not your job nor your zip code. You are you with this beautiful life who will be remembered as you long after your physical body is no longer here.

It is time to start loving and appreciating your beautiful body for all that it is and all that it does. If you are interested in any of our programs, email us at contact@alexandriawellness.com or subscribe to our newsletter to get monthly tips about how you can reach the optimal in wellness at www.alexandriwellness.com.