When we think of the holidays, we often can get trapped in a never-ending cycle of gift giving, holiday parties, possible travel, what to do with kids out of school, when to visit family, and so on. With so much to do, we may feel cheated out of the cheer of the season. This is why I created a short list of four ways to approach the holidays slightly differently this year – in a way that allows us to truly enjoy the season! Maybe I can help you to approach them without the need to fret over all of the above activities and thoughts.

1) Give a GIFT to yourself – time, joy, and comfort.

During the holidays, and even year-round, we give so much to others, leaving ourselves feeling depleted. All of the presents have been wrapped and we’ve shopped for friends and colleagues. Yet, when will we take the time to fill our own self-care bucket?

In fact, when we are feeling empty internally, it is possible, and often likely, to suffer from loneliness EVEN when we are surrounded by friends and family. Yes, it is true.

There is ample research on loneliness. Loneliness is defined as a gap between the level of connectedness that you want and what you have. It is a top killer in our country. Loneliness can harm us more than you think, which is why it’s important to keep yourself “full” as you fill others with holiday joy.

2) When gift-giving, aim for cost-less, heartfelt, and deeply authentic gifts.

Let’s face it, there’s always going to be the next-best-thing in the holiday market. Instead of buying a product that’s going to be forgotten in the next year or so, choose instead to offer to run an errand, to write a heartfelt note, to donate to a charity in someone’s honor, or to do an act of kindness that is deeply meaningful to the person you are giving the gift to.

3) Learn “full-screen” living. Pay attention to smells, sounds, sights, and tastes of the season like never before.

One way to develop this mindfulness practice is to pay closer attention to the world around you.

When I began to practice “full-screen living,” it opened up my mind and helped me better listen to and empathize with the people around me. It made me a better mother, partner, coach, and friend. We often get so caught up in our own lives. Yet, opening my world view to “full-screen” changed the way I approach my day entirely, especially during the holiday rush. I realized everyone has their “story” and their “plight.” No matter how big or small your latest challenge may be, “full- screen” living can provide context, perspective, gratitude, and empathy to your days.

You can begin your own “full-screen” journey by:

• Feeling your feet under you.

• Noticing the beauty around you. Beauty is everywhere!

• Looking others in the eye.

• Listening intently to others.

• Listening intently to your self talk.

4) Find joy.

Stop walking through the world believing that you don’t belong, believing that you have to constantly rush to “bigger” and “better” to find actual happiness.

We all have a purpose, a “why,” that gives us a sense of belonging and connection to the world and others around us.

We find deeper joy when we realize we first belong to ourselves. It’s a powerful realization that allows us to choose to live in the world in a way that aligns with who we really are, not what others expect of us.

And when it comes to the holidays, there are a lot of expectations that can make us feel “low.” Take the pressure off and increase your personal joy by expecting nothing of yourself besides genuinely “opening your eyes” and enjoying the season and all it has to offer.

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