I get that right now everyone is all about setting boundaries and saying “No.”  But for some of us, life needs to be about saying YES. I am newly divorced, and I want to be open to new life experiences right now. I say yes a lot because I’m trying to figure out who I am going forward. I feel Covid made many of us rethink how we wanted to shape our lives, and we still have so much figuring out to do.

For me, I have always been…frenetic. I am maybe the world’s most extroverted extrovert. I sometimes wish I was that person who could sit home and watch movies all day. I cannot. So I probably say yes, more than most, because I like to be constantly in motion. I’m not saying you should live this life, but saying yes more often to experiences provides a host of benefits. 

Saying yes doesn’t have to mean losing track of your priorities. Say “YES, AND…", “Yes, I would like to X, AND can I do it this way so that it supports that?” 

Most recently, I’ve been prioritizing scheduling, exercising, and getting into a healthier lifestyle. I say yes to things, and craft those experiences to enhance those items. Here’s how:

• Schedule your yes time! A friend and I planned a calendar meet up, but just the date and time. We said we’d choose the experience the day before. I met up with her and we took a walk down Mount Vernon Avenue, and wandered the farmer’s market before our brunch to get a few more steps in. It was a great way to prioritize my friendship without putting so much pressure on the experience itself. I find that scheduling in all my different time allows me to plan so it’s not overwhelming.

• Politely advocate your priorities and offer suggestions when saying yes!  I have been trying to consciously eat more vegetarian and eat less dairy, since I am lactose intolerant. So I’m often politely saying no to pizza places. I have asked friends to go places that support my choices, and it’s never a big deal. (Out at dinner recently there was nothing I could eat on the dessert menu, so I asked my friend if we could go to Jeni’s because I know they have dairy-free ice cream.)    

• Take on the yes in a way best for you!  I have been trying to get back into cooking more at home because I can make it tasty and healthy, and I often can cook better than what I eat at a restaurant. I also have a very busy social schedule with friends who want to see me, and surprise, surprise, people have let me cook for them and that checks two priorities! 

• Look for experiences that push you and meet your goals! A friend of mine told me about her amazing trainer and asked if I wanted his info. I didn’t know if it was something I could do right now, but I said yes to more information. It turned out it absolutely fit into my life and I am so glad I did it. And now I have an awesome trainer that I really like. 

Saying yes comes with benefits far beyond the expectations. I do a decent amount of volunteer work. And while I spend a lot of time in board meetings  planning charity events and reviewing bylaws, the rewards of all my community service have been immense. While I signed up thinking – this will be good for my business and will expand my network – I have found it much more fulfilling than that. That’s because:

• I have made lifelong friendships with people who share their values of making our community a thriving, strong, diverse community.

• I have learned the inner workings of parts of city government, nonprofit organizations and a whole lotta weird Virginia laws, which have made me a better overall attorney and advocate.

• I have become a connector. I love being able to know who to call for what, and to be able to connect people in a way to benefit my community. And I won’t say I don’t call in a personal favor on a rare occasion, but also extend them when needed.  

• Saying yes values my background. I lost one of my brothers when he was in his mid-thirties. I never knew my paternal grandparents as they passed away and my maternal grandmother died in her early seventies right after her retirement. I think about them way more often than anyone will ever know. And I think about all the experiences that they didn’t get to have. I think about the experiences as a woman I finally get to have that my female ancestors did not!

So while I think it’s healthy sometimes to say no, also remember that at some points in our life it’s also healthy to say yes and push yourself in positive ways. And especially after two years of being isolated by the pandemic, saying yes can really provide a host of positive benefits. This includes role modeling to younger people who might need a little extra push to say yes and learn socialization. 

Say YES with me!

See Also:  Frank Lloyd Wright For the Weekend