‘Tis the season to travel. And that’s not always easy.

First things first. I want to give you permission to not go at all. Having raised two kids I can tell you that they will be okay. If being around family is triggering (especially after this last election) or is too hard to do financially, physically, or emotionally – then skip it.  Stay home and make traditions for yourself and your immediate family. You don’t owe your sanity or the sanity of your children to anyone at all. That includes relatives. Send a card, flowers, or order a side dish that can be delivered in your stead if you are compelled, but stay home if you want to.  

If traveling and being with family fills you with joy and is what you need this year, then here are a few tips to make it easy.

Don’t compare yourself or your children to anyone else. Instagram is fake and Mom bloggers make their living making it all look perfect and effortless. I promise you they have it together about as much as you do, and their kids can be holy terrors as well.  There is no one way that is the right way, so you pick what’s best for you and your family.

Things will go wrong and that’s okay. Keep your expectations in check before you get on that plane or set out on the open road. Things will go wrong, but how you handle them is the key. If it starts to become too much, step back and breathe. Reframe the situation as best you can. A new perspective can make a world of difference. If you can laugh at it, all the better.

You don’t have to do it alone. If you’re traveling with a partner, they should share the load. I’m talking to you, Moms. It is not your job to manage everything and make everyone happy. A partnership means they fully participate. I recommend sharing the planning, the childcare, the packing, the heavy lifting in general. And, if you are traveling alone, then rely on the kindness of strangers or company staff. Just ask. People are willing to help if they know what you need. Especially other moms. We’ve been there and know.

Talk about the trip ahead of time. For some – young and old – travel anxiety is a very real thing. Share what it’s like to travel including ears popping, loud noises, turbulence, and long waits. Then talk about ways you can address those issues. If kids know what to expect, they won’t be surprised if it happens and will know what to do when it does.  Also, talk about where you’re going and what you’ll do when you’re there. If you have pictures of places you’ll go or people you’ll see that also helps.  

Pack smart. Now that doesn’t mean pack everything you could possibly ever need. In fact, if you can avoid overloading yourself then do. A few healthy snacks (no sugar or caffeine if you can help it) and a couple of open-ended play activities. Some things we like at Pippin Toy Co. are Plus-Plus building pieces, markers or crayons and a sketch or coloring book, and magnetic puzzles. If you have really little children, then I suggest a clean shirt for the adults, too. Trust me. I know from experience.  

Make room for downtime. The holidays and travel are overstimulating for adults so you can imagine what it does to kids. Make room for everyone to get a little downtime. Take a quiet walk in nature, enjoy a much-deserved nap, read quietly, or play with those open-ended toys from the plane. Restore yourself when you can to prepare for the journey home!

These aren’t your average tips. Most parents have heard it all before and I wouldn’t be giving you new information. Hindsight is 20/20 and these are a few things I learned along the way. If I can leave you with one more thing, it’s to be kind to yourself.  Parenting is hard. For everyone.  You’re doing the best you can and that’s the best you can do.  

Happy Thanksgiving and safe journeys to all!

SEE ALSO: December is Coming: Pick Up Your Advent Calendars!