We are pleasers, or at least most of us are. Most of us fear conflict and wish away any circumstance when we disappoint someone, especially someone for which you have respect or a loved one. Sometimes this serves us well and makes us feel good. Yet being a pleaser, or afraid to say “no” can be a dangerous journey toward missed health, wellness, and fitness goals.
“No.” is a complete sentence. This statement alone will help you find your best approach for your health, wellness, and help you get that fitness you’ve always wanted.
Last week I introduced my still-controversial approach with concierge and corporate clients who want to “up-level” their wellness. To control your wellness, you must control your calendar. I hear daily “I’m so busy.” or “I can’t get everything done.” or “I’m overwhelmed.” Yet, you really can. Those clients who have worked through structuring their calendar for their wellness now never say those statements. Contact me here to discuss how you too can stop feeling that way.
How does it work? Well, we have about 18 waking hours in the day. We have a host of values and priorities. We have our greatest asset: time. How you spend your time is a direct reflection of your priorities. Decide if the “ask” is a “10” on a scale of 1-10. If it is a wimpy “8 or 9” it is a “no.” If it is a resounding “10” and something for which you’ll feel zero guilt or resentment, BAM 💥, it is a “yes.”
As I mentioned last week, if I were to look at your calendar, would it reflect your values of being fit, a Faith-filled life, finding a career that inspires you, connecting with friends, healthy family relationships, or whatever your purpose in life is?
I invited you to take the time to determine your purpose and your core values. From there, constructing your calendar with only your top priorities on it is a must – today.
My second wish for you is to learn to boundary every second of that calendar for your purpose and core values. One way to boundary your time is to say “no,” either to yourself or to others.
For example, below are tell-tale symptoms of someone who may have figured out their core values (or not), yet isn’t structuring their time to reflect that value.
Sound like anyone you know?
So, then add to her frustration, she gets asked to do something she really doesn’t want (“3” on the 1-10 scale) yet says “yes” regretting it soon after. Or, she tells herself she has to do something she knows is not within her core value system.
Saying “no” is filled with fear. The fear of saying “no” can be the result of many deeper issues I too encountered on my own wellness journey. Maybe people would like me more? Maybe if I worked so hard for certain things, they’d love me more? Saying “no” was a challenge for me.
These are the top five I’ve seen.
What is the result of the “yes?”
What will saying no to those things that don’t “fill your bucket,” nor are in sync with your core values do for your wellness?
Once you become a pro at saying “no” to the non-essential, “no” will feel less uncomfortable. Your decisions become much clearer. Eliminating the nonessential becomes more instinctive. You feel greater control of your choices, to the point that your life is different. It is better.
“No” can be the difference between being and feeling better about yourself, your body, and your fitness…or not.
Join me in the crusade to control your calendar and control your life. Schedule a 30 minute consult with me here to feel better or to introduce your company, law firm, or association to the art of developing a culture of wellness here.
Alexandria Wellness offers achievable answers for anyone who is tired of chasing fitness and health without a clear plan, someone who has struggled and is not satisfied with their fitness and wellness or someone who is open to maximized healthful longevity and fitness along with healthful weight loss. Adrien and her team offer help with food guidance, body acceptance, sleep and stress issues, and insist you have fun along the way.
Schedule your free 30 minute consult here!
215 North Payne Street
Alexandria, VA 22314