Women tend to put everyone else before themselves. Moms put their kids before themselves every day. Other women put their jobs and their friends’ needs above their own. It’s a strange, innate desire to please others at almost any cost. True, the severity of the condition ebbs and flows. Sometimes I am better at saying no, and other times I can’t seem to form my mouth around the word. For some reason I’ve been in the latter mode as of late. And you know what…it’s exhausting!
I won’t recount the grind that was my day yesterday. Suffice it to say that there were no fewer than three trips to the DMV for a driver’s permit…that never materialized. Not because the applicant didn’t pass the test, but rather because the applicant never took the test. After waiting in line for an hour to be told we were missing a critical document, racing to the bank to get the document from our safety deposit box, returning to the DMV to present said documents, and then leaving the applicant at the DMV so I could race to pick up another child and take him to the baseball field, then running to a design client’s home (that’s a whole other story) to drop something off because the time worked best for her, then back to the DMV to be told that I needed to be present to give my consent for the permit before they locked the doors at 5pm even though my child, the applicant, had not yet been called (no, they would not let me in the doors).
So, I guess I just recounted the daily grind after all. My apologies. All of this is to say that I should have just said no. That we would go Saturday. Despite the whimpers and the protests, I should have said no. I needed yesterday. I have been working non-stop. It would have been my only day off in seven. I needed the day to catch up, but I wanted to make my child happy. In the end, he wasn’t happy, and, truth be told, he wasn’t all that grateful either. Because he’s sixteen and self-absorbed and couldn’t possibly understand the sacrifices that were made to make all this happen. All he knows is that he waited two hours and still doesn’t have his permit.
As a result of that horrendous day, I have decided to take time for me. I will take a bath and relax. I will use the fun, new skincare tools that I have let sit in my bathroom because they look like they’ll take too much time to figure out. I will shut my door, put on a face mask, and read a book. Because if I don’t, I will lose it!
So ladies, please let my story and that of my ungrateful child be a warning. Take time for yourself. Be nice to yourself. Say “no” now and again. It’s important.
Located in historic Old Town Alexandria, for more than 17 years Bellacara has been Northern Virginia's preeminent boutique for high end cosmetic, skincare and haircare products. At Bellacara you will find premiere beauty products that have been carefully edited by the store’s owner, Angela Sitilides, who personally tests all the products sold in store. The boutique carries only the best product lines – Kiehl’s, Jouer, Dr. Dennis Gross, Christophe Robin, Moroccan Oil, Bumble & Bumble, Fresh, Molton Brown, Skinceuticals, Smashbox, Stila, Mario Badescu, Clarins, Dermalogica, Kevyn Aucoin, Kai, Child, St. Tropez, Smith and Cult, and many more.
1000 King Street
Alexandria, VA 22314