Orders Received: What Military and Foreign Service Families Need to Know About Custody Before PCS Season

If you live in Northern Virginia long enough, you learn to recognize PCS season the way you recognize the cherry blossoms—predictable, beautiful in its way, and over before you've had time to properly prepare. June and July are when military families across Fort Belvoir, Quantico, the Pentagon, and the constellation of installations in this region pack up their households and move, sometimes across the country and sometimes across the world. Foreign Service families at the State Department face the same rhythm. Overseas postings, bid cycles, curtailments—the machinery of diplomatic life doesn't pause for summer soccer schedules.

For two-parent families, a PCS is complicated. For families navigating custody orders, it can feel like a crisis. And every year—every single year—I hear from families who received orders in March, waited too long, and are now trying to sort out something that should have been addressed months ago.

So let's talk about it now, while there's still time.

1. Read Your Custody Order Before You Do Anything Else

I know that sounds basic. Do it anyway.

A surprising number of people have not actually read their custody order recently, or at all, since the day it was entered. Custody orders in Virginia frequently include a relocation notice provision—a clause requiring the relocating parent to give the other parent written notice of an intended move a specified number of days in advance. Thirty, sixty, and ninety days are all common. Some orders require notice before the move is even finalized; others specify what information must be included in that notice.

If your order has this provision and you miss it, you are potentially in contempt of court before you've even loaded the moving truck. That is not the way you want to start a new posting.

If your custody order does not address relocation at all—which is more common with older orders—Virginia courts will still expect both parents to act in good faith and with reasonable notice. "Reasonable" is a word lawyers use when the answer is genuinely fact-specific, so don't rely on it as a safe harbor.

2. Understand What Virginia Law Actually Requires

Virginia does not have a single statute that governs parental relocation the way some other states do. What Virginia does have is a robust body of case law that treats a significant relocation as a material change in circumstances—which means it can trigger a full modification of your custody arrangement if the other parent objects and files a motion.

Courts look at several factors, including the reason for the move, whether the move was made in good faith (military orders are generally considered inherently good faith), the impact on the child's relationship with the non-relocating parent, and whether a revised visitation schedule can maintain that relationship meaningfully.

Military orders carry real weight with Virginia judges. Courts understand that service members don't choose their assignments. But an order doesn't give you immunity from the custody modification process if the other parent files—it simply means the court will view the reason for the move charitably. You still have to go through the process, and you still have to comply with your existing order in the meantime.

3. Give Notice—In Writing—As Soon As You Know

When the orders come through, send written notice to the other parent immediately. Don't wait for the perfect moment, don't wait until you've confirmed housing, and don't do it by text if your order specifies another method.

Written notice serves two purposes: it satisfies your legal obligation under most orders, and it starts the clock on any mediation, negotiation, or court process that needs to happen before the move date. If you are hoping to reach an agreed modification to the custody schedule—which is almost always preferable to litigation—the other parent needs time to consider it, respond, and engage productively. That process takes longer than most people expect.

I also want to say something to the non-relocating parent, because this article is for both of you: receiving notice that the other parent is moving your child does not mean the relationship is over and does not mean you have no options. What it means is that you should contact an attorney immediately to understand what your order says and what a modification proceeding would actually look like. Waiting to respond is not a neutral act—it can limit your options.

4. When You Move, Your Custody Order Comes With You

This surprises a lot of people, but your Virginia custody order doesn't disappear when you cross the state line. Under the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act—a law that Virginia has adopted, along with every other state—the state that issued your custody order generally retains jurisdiction over it even after the family moves, as long as one parent remains in Virginia or until the child has established a new "home state" under the statute.

What this means practically: if you move to California with your child and the other parent stays in Virginia, Virginia courts will likely still have authority over custody issues for a period of time. You cannot simply refile in the new state and get a fresh start. You will need to register your existing Virginia order in the new state and, eventually, seek a transfer of jurisdiction when the legal requirements are met.

For families moving overseas—which is a reality for many Foreign Service families—this becomes even more nuanced. Some countries are not signatories to the Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction, which is the primary international treaty mechanism for returning children who have been wrongfully removed or retained. If you are a parent whose co-parent is receiving a posting to a non-signatory country, please talk to an attorney before that departure date.

5. Build Travel Flexibility Into Your Next Order

If you are still in the process of negotiating or litigating your custody order—or if your current order is up for modification anyway—this is the moment to build in provisions that reflect your family's actual life.

Orders that work well for military and Foreign Service families address things like: advance notice requirements for travel abroad with the children, virtual visitation provisions, makeup parenting time when a deployment or posting has disrupted the regular schedule, and a clear process for handling emergency schedule changes. An order that was written for a two-household-in-Northern-Virginia family does not automatically translate well to a family where one parent lives overseas and crosses twelve time zones to get home.

The time to negotiate this is before the move—not after.

6. Getting Your Child a Passport When You're Divorced

This section is for every divorced parent planning a summer trip with their kids—not just military and Foreign Service families—because I field this question constantly and the answer is more complicated than most people realize.

For children under 16, the U.S. State Department requires the consent of both parents to issue a passport. Both parents must either appear in person together at the passport acceptance facility, or the applying parent must present a signed and notarized DS-3053—the Statement of Consent—completed by the absent parent.

If your co-parent refuses to sign the DS-3053, you are not automatically out of options, but you are heading toward court. A judge can authorize a passport issuance over the other parent's objection in appropriate circumstances, though that process takes time and should not be started the week before your departure.

If you have sole legal custody—not just sole physical custody, but sole legal custody reflected in your order—you can present that order in lieu of the other parent's consent. The document needs to clearly establish that you have the authority to make this decision alone. If your order is ambiguous on this point, assume it is not sufficient and consult an attorney before your appointment.

A few things worth knowing before you go:

• Passport processing times fluctuate, and summer is peak season. Routine processing is currently running several weeks; expedited service is faster but costs more and still is not overnight. Do not wait until June.

• Children 16 and older can apply on their own, though there are still parental documentation requirements in many cases.

• If you are a parent concerned that the other parent may apply for your child's passport without your knowledge or consent, the State Department has a Passport Alert program that will notify you if an application is submitted.

• If there is any genuine concern about international parental abduction, a passport hold—formally called the Children's Passport Issuance Alert Program enrollment—can be filed with the State Department to require your consent before a passport is issued. This is a powerful tool that is underused and worth knowing about.

The practical takeaway: start this process early, know what your custody order actually says about international travel, and do not assume that because you are the primary parent, the process will be simple.

The families I work with who handle PCS seasons with the least stress are invariably the ones who started the conversation early—with their co-parent, with their attorney, and with themselves about what they actually need from the arrangement going forward. Military and Foreign Service life puts real strain on families even when everything is working. When a custody order is in the mix, preparation isn't just smart. It's the difference between a hard transition and a damaging one.

If you are looking at orders on your kitchen counter right now and this article feels a little too timely, please reach out. This is exactly what we do.

SEE ALSO: Before You Board: What Every Woman Should Have in Place Before Traveling Solo