Who Gets the Dog? Divorce, Pets, and What Virginia Courts Say
You never think about divorce when you’re looking into those cute little wet noses, do you? Of course not! Pets bring us so much joy, and they’re great for our mental health. So many of us have pets that are not just animals but cherished members of the family. (My bichons are my loves!)
But pets can pose a surprisingly tricky problem during divorce, especially in Northern Virginia courts. That’s why it’s important to think ahead about what might happen, what you want, and—most importantly—what’s best for them if you and your spouse separate.
In Virginia, courts are required to treat pets like any other form of tangible property. That might sound a little harsh, but here’s what that means in practice:
Is the Pet Marital or Separate Property?
The first question the court will consider is when and how the pet was acquired. If your pet:
Was owned by you before marriage,
Was gifted solely to you, or
Was purchased using separate funds (money you had before marriage or received during marriage by gift or inheritance)
In the last scenario, the pet is considered separate property. For example, my bichon Max was a gift from my aunt to me, so he would be classified as my separate property.
However, if the pet was purchased during the marriage or with marital funds, it’s considered marital property. In that case, the court will decide who keeps the pet. While judges may transfer ownership or even allow one party to "buy out" the other's share, pets are notoriously hard to value in monetary terms, so most of the time, they’re simply awarded to one party.
The court is supposed to consider several factors when dividing marital property, including:
Each party’s monetary and non-monetary contributions to acquiring, caring for, and maintaining the property (aka the pet),
And how and when the property was acquired.
Can We Share the Pet?
People often ask whether the court can create a joint custody schedule for a pet or require one party to help with ongoing pet expenses. Unfortunately, Virginia courts don’t have the authority to make these kinds of support orders unless they relate to child or spousal support. If there’s debt associated with the pet—like vet bills or loans—those debts can be divided.
That said, divorces are most often settled by agreement, not court order. And in a private agreement, the parties can choose to share the pet in whatever way works best for them, even if it’s something the court wouldn’t order.
But here’s a word of caution: I rarely recommend formal shared pet arrangements. As sweet as they sound, they can be very hard on the animal, especially older pets who need stability. Plus, life changes like new partners, job relocations, or other shifts can make sharing a pet long-term very impractical.
Informal sharing can work—especially if one person travels frequently and the other steps in—but only when both parties have an exceptionally good post-divorce relationship and communication. That’s rare, but not impossible.
So, what can you do if you want to avoid pet drama during a separation? If possible, purchase your pet with separate funds or make sure it’s clearly gifted to you. But also take time to consider: Who can provide the pet with the most stable home and best quality of life? And do you really want to remain tied to your ex through a shared custody pet arrangement?
Because in the end, it’s not just about property, it’s about what’s best for that little wet nose you love so much.
If you have questions or need help completing the paperwork for a divorce in Virginia, Family First Law is happy to consult with you and assist you with the process.
