How to Lose a Date in Three Courses: A Server’s Guide to Romantic Sabotage
They say love is a battlefield, but from where we’re standing—behind the bar with a tray of martinis—it’s more like a high-stakes comedy special.
We’ve seen it all: the nervous first-date handshakes, the “accidentally” shared dessert nobody wanted, and the absolute “no-go” behaviors that guarantee a second date will never happen. If your goal is to get ghosted before the check hits the table, here’s the industry-insider guide to losing a date—based on what you order and how you act.
1. The “Main Character” Syndrome
The fastest way to ensure your date never calls again isn’t the food—it’s how you treat the person bringing it to you. In the restaurant world, there’s a famous “Waitron Rule”: if someone is nice to you but rude to the server, they’re not actually a nice person.
"I’ve watched people snap their fingers at me or interrupt a table’s birthday song to demand a side of frites," says one veteran server. "I always see the date’s face just… fall. You can practically see them mentally canceling the next date right there."
The Pro-Tip: Being demanding doesn’t make you look like a “boss”; it makes you look like a liability. Kindness, my dining friends, is the ultimate aphrodisiac.
2. The “Hard-to-Eat” Hazard
There’s nothing less romantic than watching someone wrestle with a giant, messy lobster claw—or wings, or a rack of ribs. Nothing kills a vibe faster than sauce on your white shirt or twenty minutes spent extracting meat with a tiny pick. Conversation? Dead.
If you’re trying to impress, maybe skip the “requires a toolbox to eat” section of the menu. Trust us—no one looks sexy in spills.
3. The “Instruction Manual” Order
We love a specific guest, but there’s a fine line between dietary preference and a kitchen takeover.
"I’ll have the salmon, but can you sear it for exactly 42 seconds, swap the mash for three asparagus tips, and serve the sauce in a thimble on the side?"
Nothing kills a “cool, easy-going” vibe faster than a five-minute monologue about your hyper-specific condiment requirements. It tells your date you’re high-maintenance before you’ve even finished the appetizers.
Redemption is Served at Hummingbird
If your dating game needs a culinary upgrade, we have good news. At Hummingbird, we’ve refreshed our menu to help your next date go perfectly (even if your jokes don’t).
We’ve done the hard work for you. Whether you’re on our patio soaking in the fantastic waterfront views or cozying up at the bar, our menu is curated for connection, not complication.
The Vibe: Breezy, sophisticated, and undeniably romantic—the kind of place where the atmosphere does half the flirting for you.
The Food: Fresh, vibrant dishes that are easy to share and impossible not to love. Try our new Chicken & Dumplings or the French Onion Dip Sandwich on a squishy roll.
The Drinks: Craft cocktails and crisp wines provide the perfect “liquid courage” for a great night out. Consider the Camping Bib & Tucker: Double Char Bourbon, Nocino, Aztec Dark Chocolate Bitters.
Don’t let a bad attitude or a messy order leave you walking home alone. Come to Hummingbird, grab a table with a view, and let our new menu—and friendly team—help you seal the deal.
SEE ALSO: How To Win the Holiday Party Game:A Restaurateur’s Guide to the Perfect Office Fête
