Hygge-Fy Your Relationships: Create Warmth, Comfort, And Intimacy In Your Life

The Danish experience of Hygge and the creation of cozy contentment has become one of the top trends of the past five years. In fact, there have been an abundance of books, articles, and social media posts written about the topic. America’s obsession with creating comfort while hunkering down has resulted in a focus on all the ways one can Hygge-fy their home with the use of objects such as candles, fuzzy blankets, warm slippers, roomy yoga pants, herbal tea, and comfort food. Although these are the objects associated with Hygge and coziness, the Danes also describe Hygge as an experience - being in a group and sharing activities such as cooking, eating, playing games, and watching television. Hygge has also been described as a feeling of intimacy and being sheltered from the harsh elements of the outside world. During the cold winter months in the northeast, where sunlight is short, and warmth is valued, how can we cultivate interpersonal Hygge? While the feeling of warmth, relaxation, and physical wellbeing can be fostered by the objects in our homes, it can also be fostered in our relationships. As a psychologist, I often focus on ways people can improve their relationship satisfaction and intimacy. Just as objects can create a sense of warmth and coziness, so can the companionship of a partner or friend.

This winter, as you focus on creating comfort, warmth, relaxation, and a state of physical ease in your home, turn your attention to your relationships and fostering more intimacy within them. There are many different types of intimacy - emotional, physical, experiential, and spiritual, to name a few. Creating emotional intimacy provides comfort and wellbeing by allowing you to let your guard down. Cultivating physical intimacy does not have to be sexual in nature and can be communicated with touch, closeness, a hug, and a kind gesture. Experiential intimacy comes from spending time engaging in activities that can bring individuals closer together. Expressing appreciation and gratitude for your relationship can also foster feelings of closeness. Cooking, playing games, working on a puzzle, or watching a movie together builds on experiential intimacy. Spiritual intimacy can be shared not only by a common religion but also by a common value, such as doing good for the community.

Truly accepting each other and knowing that you value each other’s differences and feelings can nurture a sense of trust, safety, and intimacy. Communication is a vital key to intimacy. In order to foster healthy communication, one must make an effort to listen and reflect as well as to share one’s feelings honestly. Intimacy and trust take time to strengthen. Research has shown that intimacy can combat feelings of loneliness, help your immune system, and improve your overall health. Building intimacy and connection are some of the best ways to enrich your health and create a sense of wellbeing in your home. This month, as you create an experience of Hygge, begin by first expressing warmth with words of affirmation, actions of nurturance, and gestures of compassion.