Tough Love Taglines, Part 1

This week I turned 49. In fact, I am writing this on my actual birthday, and I feel good – the best I have ever felt in my life. I can describe how I feel simply: I am happy, I am healthy, and I am blessed. But I didn’t always feel this way. My forties have been a crucial time of development and I am lucky to have been shaped by my family, friends, and my Mind the Mat community.

I continue to learn from this group. 

I have faced challenges in many forms, as we all have. To face these challenges, over the years I started to say tough love taglines over and over. These snarky slogans were especially on repeat throughout the pandemic. Seemingly preachy and bossy, these “tell it like it is” mantras were inspired by the amazing people in the classes at Mind the Mat and have blossomed into the basic rules that I have lived by over the past decade. I know that they shaped my happiness, drive for positivity, and appreciation for what I already have. I didn’t get here easily, so I’d like to share this mindset with you — it’s inspired by my favorite people:

An excuse is a problem I have decided not to solve.

Say that again inside your head or out loud: An excuse is a problem I have decided not to solve. Most problems are solvable unless they are totally out of your control like weather, a flight cancellation, or an illness. When you make an excuse, let’s use exercise as an example, ask yourself if this is out of your control. Then ask yourself if you can solve the problem. 

I hear excuses all the time as to why people do not exercise. One client-friend told me during the shutdown that she couldn’t do online classes because she didn’t have space in her house to work out. “Friend,” I said, “I have been in your house! Move your coffee table.” 

Table moved. Problem solved. Strong abdominals obtained. 

Can you find excuses you make and shift your mindset into problem-solving mode? Is it solvable? But more importantly, do you want to solve it? If you don’t, that particular problem is called an excuse. 

There’s a solution for everything. 

Now I know that I just said a real problem is a problem, but what if you worked around it? Here is an example: NASA has an enormous problem, gravity (emphasis line). There is nothing more constant on this planet. If we can send a rocket into space, you can find a solution to your problem or at least a workaround. 

The biggest down-to-earth example I can give you are injuries. People claim this all the time: I can’t do A, B, or C because of X injury. There is always a solution around an injury or a chronic condition. Always. Please don’t stop moving, there is a solution for everything.

Just when I didn’t think my son was listening. Even he picked it up. This was my 8th grader responding to his teacher’s question back at the beginning of virtual school: How can you show someone compassion?

At the start of the pandemic, I called out myself on this philosophy. I had a Pilates training already scheduled with several people committed and registered. I easily could have used the pandemic as an excuse and decided to cancel it. How in the world could I run an in-person training during COVID? But there is a solution for everything, right? I sat down, thought about it, and said to myself: If you truly care, you will come up with a solution. That solution may not be standard, it may not be what you’re accustomed to, and it may be a different path. So, I went back to the drawing board, revamped the entire training into a hybrid model, announced it on all channels, and guess what happened? We were inundated with trainees so eager that we had a long wait list. What if I had just let it go? Look what I would have missed. 

Can you find those moments in your life?

A gift from friends. Do you think they’ve heard these lines enough?🤣

Ok, Tough Love Taglines Part 1 homework! Start noticing those consistent excuses you make, or maybe when your kids make them. How can you flip those problems into a solution? And once you have recognized a difficult problem, do you care to solve it? If you don’t care to solve it, that is ok. Only solve those problems that you care about. Are you aware of when you turn those particular problems into excuses?