On Friendship
Every now and then I write a post that has nothing to do with fashion, or anything for that matter. Let’s call these my Seinfeld posts. So here is your warning: this is one of them.I consider the two biggest gifts I have been given in life are the family I was born into and then the sweet husband and kids I have now. In between these two things, however, is my third gift, my close knit cadre of college friends.Don’t get me wrong, I have great childhood friends who are still important in my life today. But something different happened when I attended Ohio University. I think everyone hits a formative moment in life when different bonds are created. For some it’s high school friends, summer camp friends, or boarding school mates. This time for me was college.
Since we all met in 1991 and pledged the sorority Pi Beta Phi together, we have been close. We all come from different places and backgrounds, but from the beginning we were a tight crowd. The thing that always struck us the most was how our parents all got along. They would all come to campus for parents’ weekend, moms' weekend and dads' weekend, and these three weekends became our favorites. After college, we all attended each other’s weddings, but surprisingly so did most of our parents. I think somehow that is part of it. I am just as excited to see my friends’ parents as I am to see my friends. Then as luck would have it, today our husbands and children all also get along, Yahtzee!Since our weddings, we all decided we were not going to let these friendships fade and we wanted out children to know one another. We started going on a beach trip every other summer. A few weeks ago, we had that trip in Hilton Head, South Carolina and it has become my favorite week every two years. We all stay in a rental house together, each family takes the cooking duties for one night and now that some kids are old enough to watch the younger kids we have one adults-only dinner at an inevitably over-priced beach seafood restaurant. It is just the best of times!
Since graduating, we have watched one another fall in love, have kids, figure out careers, and cope with financial stress, marital stress, and kid stress. We have also lost parents and seen our share of illnesses. Through it all, we all stick together and know that no matter what, we are there for each other even though we don’t live in the same place.While I was on my vacation, an article came out in the New York Times about the nature of friendship (this is where I bring it all together – you were wondering, right?) and the effects good friendships have on our health and well-being.
“Age and time have a funny relationship: Sure, they both move in the same direction, but the older we get, the more inverse that relationship can feel. And as work and family commitments take up a drastically outsize portion of that time, it’s the treasured friendships in our life that often fade.The impact of that loss can be both social and physiological, as research shows that bonds of friendship are critical to maintaining both physical and emotional health.In terms of mortality, loneliness is a killer.”
This article reminded me of the good fortune I have had in life when it comes to my friendships. I wanted to write this as a reminder that even though we are all busy we need to make sure we take time for our friends.It also made me think about how my luck didn’t end in college. When I got married and moved to Alexandria, I once again fell into the honey pot. When it is time to fill out emergency contact forms for my kids I am shocked at the long list of people I could put down. Since my family doesn’t live in Alexandria, these are the people I have to have in my life to maintain maternal sanity.So take a moment and think about the web of friendships in your own life that keep you on the level – and make sure they know how much they mean to you.If you want to read more of the article here is the link!