There is beauty in the “pause” between the holiday season and the start of the New Year. For many, holiday events and travel are wrapping up, and there are a few days before returning to work. It is a natural time to be introspective, to reflect on our personal experiences over the past year, and to ponder the possibilities of the new year.

As we approach 2022, I suspect you will see a resurgence of self-improvement information on social media spouting, “New Year, New You!” and a strong push for reinvention and personal growth through the development of resolutions. For some, these wellness and fitness-driven programs, products, and techniques can be motivating and helpful in activating individuals to create change in their life. However, for many others, these same campaigns can lead to self-criticism, feelings of failure, and a sense of inadequacy. The latter can lead individuals to overcompensate by making lofty and unattainable resolutions that often fail several weeks later, or it can lead individuals to abandon any growth plans because they feel overwhelmed by all the ways they believe they “should” improve. If this resonates with you, I invite you to choose to:

Give yourself permission to opt out of New Year’s Resolutions.

Yes, this may seem atypical advice from a psychologist, who specializes in personal growth and transformation, but I suspect that this may appeal to some of you, especially during a global pandemic. Over the years, I have learned that meaningful personal change occurs when individuals consciously assess their own needs and desires throughout the year, select intentions based on their core values, set realistic goals over a period of time, and when individuals have the right amount of motivation and energy to achieve those desired changes. This ongoing process of gentle conscious navigation will help you attend to what you need to heal and what you desire to grow along to the path of personal fulfillment.

However, I respect that some of you may really enjoy the ritual of reflection, vision boarding, and goal setting for the new year. These tools can be very effective when they are occurring for the right reasons. Whether you are a pro at setting intentions and goals or you are new to doing so, I encourage you to consider these exploratory questions to assist with your process. Ask and notice what automatically pops into your head versus “thinking” about the answer.

• What am I most proud of this year?

• What do I yearn for most at this time?

• Who and what feeds my spirit?

These questions allow for reflection and recognition of growth (of any size), an opportunity to identify what is most important for you at this time and assist with discovering or confirming who and what is essential for your personal well-being and feelings of connection. 

All in all, you are the best navigator of your own life. May you adopt a spirit of gentle awareness and attention to your needs and desires as you move through 2022. Please favor a spirit of progress over perfection and always believe in the possibility of creating change in your life. May you find more peace, ease, and love in the next year.