Self-Awareness Offers Self-Love
Even if you didn't see the Super Bowl Halftime Show, the takeaway I'm about to present might be worth a ponder. I was initially struck by the brilliance of the costume choice for The Weeknd's hall of mirrors number. Having the backup dancers in face masks seemed a likely reflection of our times. The following day after filtering through the hysterical memes, I discovered the real motivation behind the bandaged face masks and asked, could our culture be on the bubble of a deeper self-awareness? 
Last week during Paris Fashion Week, I posted a photo of Demi Moore walking the Fendi runway for the Spring Summer 2021 collections. I had a moment of confusion because there was part of me that thought that was indeed her and another part that doubted what I saw. Upon examining why someone I revered as beautiful was choosing to have some work done (allegedly), I was both empathetic and disappointed. I use the word disappointed because I straddled being disappointed in myself for challenging one woman's choice and at the same time disappointed in women who choose to live their reality by our current society's standards of beauty. It's an age-old question that I feel I'm finally old enough to ask ~ Why do we resist valuing the aging process? 
When younger women ask this question, it falls on deaf ears and older women are almost annoyed. How easy it is for a younger woman to propose while her body is still producing collagen and her number 11's aren't prominently etched in her RBF. It's also hard to challenge the lengths we go to preserve our youth, but I've established a clothing model that also applies to my beauty model - Buy Less, Choose Well! To be transparent, I'm not above the procedures and products by any means, but it's an ongoing conversation I have with myself as I navigate the choices and the industry. The problem I have is whether we as women sum up our self-worth as we inflate this multibillion-dollar industry.Beauty Products that satisfy my Buy Less Choose Well measure! 
Art history classes are the place I find the measure of an ongoing theme. The historical record art history provides links to the ideals women try to achieve, regardless of the era, race, or continent, and which have been predominantly designed by men. Today we seem to be caught up in achieving our beauty goals through the eyes of a Hollywood culture which assesses beauty by way of the box office draw. Hollywood is still a predominately male playing field where the young fresh face does a number on the aging actors. The Weeknd's bandaged heads en mass was such a reflection of what we all know is happening in a culture chasing the younger shell of themselves.
"The significance of the entire head bandages is reflecting on the absurd culture of Hollywood celebrity and people manipulating themselves for superficial reasons to please and be validated," The Weeknd told Variety.
As I watch the lines in my own face appear and the plumpness around my temples dissolve, I shift my thoughts towards an existential theory from the philosopher Charles Horton Cooley.The looking-glass self is a social psychological concept created by Charles Horton Cooley in 1902, stating that a person's self grows out of society's interpersonal interactions and the perceptions of others. People shape themselves based on what other people perceive and confirm other people's opinion on themselves.I stumbled upon Cooley's concept by way of my favorite guru, Jay Shetty (Think like a Monk) Shetty lays this thought down in most of his lectures as a challenge for us to break the rhythm of being programmed.
"Today, I'm not what I think I am; I'm not what you think I am; I am what I think you think I am."
We may all believe we are making these choices of our own free will, but perhaps we are actually being programmed by a culture that values the outside more than the inside. Have you ever noticed how after you get to know someone their looks are not as relevant? It's called an impression for a good reason. In the best of introductions we are left with how a person makes us feel.As a stylist, a lot of my business is based on leaving a good impression and building valuable self-esteem. Like it or not, looks are the first part of deciphering information. Our brain is hungry for data and wants to satisfy the story behind the presentation. I believe this is why I got caught up in the image of Demi Moore. It was "off" and my brain was wondering what prompted her to change her appearance. If one's true beauty resides from within and the impression is how they make you feel, had an older woman's choice unknowingly challenged how I felt about myself - if even for a second? I realized my disappointment was rooted in a need to see women embrace getting older with grace and dignity - because if I can see it, I can be it :)I could continue to go round and round in this philosophical conundrum of how we see ourselves vs. how we see each other, but the truth is that our choices impact each other. In a nutshell, stick with the people who love you the most, who build you up and who won't let their narrative shadow becoming your true self. And when you find yourself at the precipice of feeling as though you're not enough, ask yourself who dictated that measure. Thankfully I finally got to the bottom of the Demi Moore runway rumors. The transformation was not at the hands of a surgeon but of a makeup artist who evidently wanted Demi to look chiseled and taught! How relieved I was to know that the metamorphosis wasn't permanent and this 58-year-old woman didn't fall for the idea that Moore is more.
Here are a few pictures and comments of the internet responding to Demi’s runway look from an article by Sayantani Nath in meaww.com.
"However, on Friday, January 29, the 58-year-old star shared a group photo from the show with supermodels Kate Moss, Christy Turlington, and designer Kim Jones. She looked naturally beautiful in the photograph, putting all ‘plastic surgery’ rumors to rest."