She Said, He Said: Glowing With Grays

More and more women are choosing to embrace their natural gray, and discovering that the transition can be equal parts liberating and intimidating. Local boutique owner Amy Rutherford (Red Barn Mercantile, Penny Post, and Pippin Toy Co.) recently made the leap herself, swapping box dye for a bold “racing stripe” of silver. Her journey is proof that going gray isn’t just about hair—it’s about confidence, humor, and authenticity. To help make the process smoother (and more stylish), we asked Maria Elizabeth of Salon deZEN and Luis of Stylists at North to share their best advice with Amy (and the rest of us) for growing out gray, caring for silver strands, and navigating that tricky in-between stage.

Amy: I’ve decided to grow out my gray hair. For the next—oh, let’s call it one to two years—I’ll be in transition, rocking what is currently a very chic three-inch racing stripe down the middle of my head.

I’ve been flirting with this idea for over a decade. I always knew the day would come—I just had to be ready. Well, the kids are grown and out of college, I turned 55 this summer (which apparently means society has put me out to pasture), I’m pissed at the state of the world, and the number of ….. I have left to evaporate at light speed with every therapy session. So really, why not now? Time to embrace my destiny as the badass old woman I was always meant to be. 

Plus, let’s be honest: I’d rather look young with gray hair than old with fake brown. Vanity is still alive and kicking over here—she’s just got a sharper sense of humor.

I know the transition won’t be pretty every day, so if I start whining, please toss me some gentle encouragement (or a stiff drink). But right now, I’m actually excited. Inspired, even. So here’s to Cary, Nancy, Janet, Jen, Michele, Maura, Sue, and my mom, the women who showed me how stunning, stylish, and unapologetic gray can be.

And here’s to the stylists who hold our hands, cheer us on, and keep us from grabbing a drugstore dye box at midnight. We thought it was the perfect time to tap them for their expert advice on going gray.

What’s the smartest way to transition into gray—cold turkey, highlights, lowlights, or a big chop?

Maria Elizabeth, Salon deZEN: There’s no one-size-fits-all path to embracing your natural color. It all depends on your personality, the shade you’re growing out, and how you want the journey to feel. Some people love making the big transformation in one appointment, while others prefer a softer transition with blending techniques like highlights or lowlights. 

What matters most is choosing an approach that feels empowering and in harmony with your lifestyle. As stylists, our role is to guide you through every option so each step feels stylish, intentional, and uniquely yours.

Luis, Stylists at North: The most important step is working with a hairdresser who truly understands this process. Not every stylist knows how to guide you, and that can lead to results that don’t feel authentic. Find a colorist with the right skills to support your journey.

For brunettes: Stop doing full-coverage color. That solid, opaque look trains the eye to see hair as one-dimensional—but we’re moving toward dimensional, natural color. Allow at least an inch of regrowth so your silver can show through. That’s how we map color placement. Over-highlighting or lowlighting is unnecessary; instead, I use a blend of foils and balayage to create softness and a natural grow-out. For example, if your natural silver is brighter around the face but darker in the back, we won’t overload you with foils and flatten the dimension you already have.

For blondes: The transition is simpler. We’re usually just shifting tone, moving into cooler shades, which requires less work overall.

A big chop isn’t required. Adjusting to your new color is already a major change. If you’re ready to cut away some old color and shorten your style, that’s wonderful, but if you don’t want short hair, don’t feel pressured. Transitioning to silver is powerful on its own.

How do you keep gray hair looking vibrant and stylish (and not dull or yellow)?

Maria Elizabeth: Gray hair is stunning when it’s cared for with the right rituals. A toning shampoo or conditioner helps maintain brightness, while consistent moisture keeps softness and shine. 

Pro tip: use a clarifying shampoo once a week to remove mineral buildup and keep your gray looking fresh. A polished cut or style also makes gray feel modern and vibrant. When celebrated and maintained with intention, gray becomes one of the most powerful statements of confidence.

Luis: Between major services, a simple glaze can refresh and balance your color—keeping everything looking seamless as you transition.

What advice do you give clients who struggle with the awkward “in-between” stage of growing out their grays?

Maria Elizabeth: The grow-out stage can feel tough, but it’s actually such a powerful part of the journey. Every bit of new growth is a reminder that you’re leaning into your authentic beauty. Styling tricks—like waves, texture, or fun accessories—can help soften the line, and blending techniques are always an option for extra support. Remember: this isn’t just something to “get through,” it’s a journey to a more authentic version of yourself.

Luis: The grow-out phase does not have to be awkward! The key is working with a stylist who can map out your journey step by step. For example: today we’ll focus on this service, in 10 weeks we’ll do the next one, and in between we’ll keep your hair healthy and bright.

At-home care matters too. I recommend a gentle detox shampoo like Kevin Murphy Maxi Wash to remove buildup, followed by Blonde Angel Wash + Rinse to keep tones soft and luminous. Using a blue-based shampoo and conditioner once a week also helps control warmth.

What’s the one product, tool, or trick every silver fox-in-training must have in their arsenal?

Maria Elizabeth: A high-quality toning shampoo or conditioner  is a must for keeping silver bright and luminous. I’d also add a great hydrating treatment to maintain shine and softness, since gray hair can be a little more coarse. Beyond products, I think having regular appointments for shaping and refreshing keeps the style looking intentional, modern, and chic throughout the entire journey.

Luis: When transitioning to silver, it’s not just about your hair—it’s about your whole look. One of the best things you can do is eyebrow tinting. Brows frame the face, and adding that definition helps balance the softness of silver hair.

It’s also the perfect time to refresh your makeup routine. Since you’re no longer wearing an all-over hair color, you’ll want to bring vibrancy back in other areas. This might mean updating your bronzer, blush, or lip color to tones that complement your new silver and enhance your skin’s natural glow.

The goal isn’t heavy maintenance—it’s about a few simple tweaks that keep you looking fresh, youthful, and radiant as you embrace your new color.

Share your thoughts or questions in the comments!

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