Who Are You Getting Dressed For?
Getting dressed is a big part of my life. Not in the “OMG! I, like, love clothes” kind of way. It’s more like a “This blazer makes me feel protected. These pants remind me of that one year when I felt on top of the world. This top reminds me of the five years when I felt completely uncomfortable with my body. Having a casual vibe makes me feel approachable in uptight settings. These sneakers bring back memories of sports. Tight tops make me feel exposed” kind of way.
Can you relate to this inner dialogue? I swear that the older I get, the more I realize that I don’t pay attention to it as much as I should. Maybe it’s because there are so many distractions that cause us to be less mindful and less confident when it comes to our clothing choices. This very real concept hit me recently, and I wanted to share what happened and why it pushed me to write this post!
Here we go!
When I go shopping, I will share my “try-on sessions” via Instagram stories. It’s fun to give my perspective on why I choose things because there is always a very lengthy and specific reason and it’s a teaching moment! Instagram is an opportunity to quickly impact at least one person in a positive way, which is what encourages me to keep going on social media. However, more times than not, I catch myself feeling intrigued and sort of bummed out by how the tool can also have a negative impact on people, specifically a woman on her personal style journey.
A couple of weeks ago, I shared two very different outfits from the fitting room. The first look felt very me, with tailored wool pants and a cozy, slightly oversized cashmere cable knit sweater. This outfit gave me “the feels” because it has taken me, literally, years to find a flattering, ivory cable knit sweater. The pants brought me back to a similar pair that I had in middle school.
The second look was a fitted, off-the-shoulder knit dress. I don’t do “fitted” often, but the skirt was more straight than pencil, and the slit was tasteful – so I went for it! I’m also lacking in the dress department, so when I find one I like, I buy it. It felt good, but I definitely felt more excited about the first outfit.
I posted the photos and went about my day. I quickly realized that my inbox was filled with responses about the dress. I don’t think I’ve ever received so much love over anything I’ve posted, and seven people bought it on my LTK page. Would this make you wear the dress more and return the pants and sweater? Sadly, I feel like many women are so fickle and unsure of what they like, that this wouldn’t be an outlandish option. For me, I almost want to toss the dress out the window. All of this got me thinking about how much of our clothing choices are influenced and shaped by outside opinions instead of our own.
Here’s a cherry on top moment for you. Recently, while shopping, I tried on a pair of very “in” shoes. I didn’t like them on my feet and quickly took them off, explaining to the salesperson how I didn’t like the way the shoes made me feel. Another customer in the shop saw the shoes I was trying on and remarked, “Oh I have those and I get so many compliments on them.” This really frustrated me, and my filterless Philly came out when I said, “Well, who is complimenting you?” I mean, when people compliment you, does it really matter? Who are these people and what is their style? What are their interests? Basically, are they anything like you? Probably not! So, who cares, right?
Toward the end of the year, I tend to recap and get deep, so here we are. I feel like I can unpack this topic forever, but I will spare you and implore you to please make decisions based on what you want and how you feel. My gifts to you this holiday season are two how-to guides on how to build yourself up and get back on your personal style journey.
And always remember that I am here for you in style!
Love, Ali
