A Year On: The Things that Matter

My birthday was two weeks ago, and we celebrated the only way we really could: outdoors, with our closest friends, but very distanced. Last year, things were different.Last year, Tim bought us tickets to The Kennedy Center to see a performance with those same friends. He and I distinctly remember feeling strange about the event. At that time, the “novel coronavirus” was most definitely stateside, but it wasn’t really an immediate concern in the D.C. area (at least, we didn’t think so). We remember sitting in the audience and hearing a few people cough - hearing ourselves cough a few times from winter allergies (we hoped?) thinking, “Hmm... I wonder if we should be worried.” That was the last event we attended, to this day.Within two weeks of that day, we had decided to temporarily close our shop in anticipation of a completely terrifying reality hitting our world: this virus was real, it was scary, and no one really seemed to have a plan. Within two weeks of that day, we had rented a cottage in the country and prioritized getting our “creepy cabin in the woods” renovated to an inhabitable state in anticipation of continued city shutdowns. Within a month of that, we had moved into our just-barely finished cabin, thinking we would stay for the spring. Spring turned to summer, and summer turned to the entire school year as in-person schooling for our preschool-aged son appeared out of reach in Alexandria. And, here we are: a year out, having lived in this cabin full-time in a way we never, ever anticipated when we bought it.The year has demanded a level of adaptability I do not really have. I won’t pretend that the lessons learned have made it all worth it. It’s hard to say any of this is worth it, knowing that we were living perfectly happy lives before this dumb virus upended reality as we knew it. All I can really say is that we have been incredibly, incredibly lucky. Lucky to have our cabin, lucky to have our resilient business, lucky to have been able to actually make friends with our new neighbors during a time when most social circles were tightening to tiny perimeters. All this has made the (extreme) lows of the last year feel less permanent, less visceral over time. While it hasn’t been easy, it has been manageable.Of course, with a milestone of a year approaching, one can’t help but calculate what has mattered over this time. My list is small and a mix of the superficial (but so necessary!) and the vital.1) Responsible leadership. I mean this in the biggest and smallest ways. On the micro-level, I mean leadership within my family to protect it and help it navigate untold times. On a business level, I mean taking care of your employees first and modeling responsible practices for your clients instead of stooping to the lowest common denominator. On a community level, I mean supporting other businesses, medical professionals, and people who show empathy and resourcefulness during challenging times. On a greater level... gosh, let’s hope we see this again.2) Flow. Finding a sense of flow during a period of canceled school, no backup child care, COVID scares, and canceled appointments, the list goes on... has been challenging. When I find it, I relish it. I realized recently I don’t crave routine; I crave flow (which often, but not always, overlaps with routine). Finding flow in the smallest moments has been a lifesaver.3) Good shampoo and face serums. I told you this list wasn’t all heavy. Seriously, I (shamefully) went many months thinking I could go rogue with just my trusty Everyday Oil to slather on my visage and came to realize recently that I desperately needed to contact Angela at Bellacara for some remediation. Specialized products do make a difference and I’m now back with my Morrocan Oil shampoo, Dr. Gross serum, and Oribe texturized spray, and I feel like a new woman now.4) Books. Oh, how books have helped me over the last year. Escaping into different realities is like a balm for my brain and we are so fortunate to have the luxury of an amazing bookstore right in town with our friends over at Old Town Books. I also bought a handy dry-erase activity book for my son early on in lockdown that he still requests on days off from school, so it is truly the gift that keeps on giving a full year later.5) Community. One thing I know for a fact is that the community of businesses within our Alexandria neighborhood has proven to matter immensely. It never ceases to amaze me when I see the profound ways the women in our community raise each other up. Doing business in Old Town isn’t always a picnic (I’m looking at you BAR, business property taxes, and code enforcement), but we wouldn’t trade it for anything, largely owing to the other business owners sticking it out (and making it amazing). These are women I genuinely enjoy working with and seeing succeed in their own shops. How lucky are we to be part of this?And finally, my bonus point: finding humor in the most testy moments has helped me get through this not only alive but also sane. For this, I can thank my husband, Tim. Certainly we have gone what feels like weeks without cracking a smile while navigating the realities of the last year, but in the end, Tim keeps me laughing even when I don’t want to admit it. This year on my birthday, he had me laughing so hard I had tears streaming down my face - the hardest I had laughed in over a year, probably. That is something worth counting, I think.