How is Your Mental Health? 5 Questions to Reflect on After the Holidays

Now that the holiday season has come to an end and everyone is settling back into their regular routines, it's a great time to pause and reflect on our experiences. I’m not necessarily suggesting that we sit down and judge the family and friends we spent time with, or overanalyze everything we said or did. No, that’s not the point. What I’m inviting you to do is take a compassionate pause and lean into a sense of curiosity about yourself and others during the past holiday season.

How do you know if you might need to do this? Well, do you keep replaying a particular interaction from the holidays? Were you upset by a relationship dynamic that hasn’t changed over the years? Did you feel a pit in your stomach, a racing heart, or tightness in your throat or throughout your body when visiting certain people? If you experienced these, or something similar, it may be time to take a minute and self-reflect.

Before I continue—let me introduce myself. Hi, I’m Gabrielle (Gabby) Katz, a psychotherapist specializing in eating disorders, trauma, depression, and anxiety. I’m a Certified Eating Disorders Specialist and Approved Consultant (CEDS-C). Since 2014, I’ve worked in the eating disorders field. Having specific training in this allows me to support clients with both general mental health challenges and disordered eating/eating disorders. Not many therapists have this niche specialization. In 2020, I founded Coastal Collaborative Care, a group therapy practice in Alexandria, VA.

Okay, now that you know a bit about me, let’s get back to what I was saying.

I’d like to offer you a kind of “self-reflection template” to help guide your thoughts. 

Before we dive in, I want to acknowledge that not everyone celebrates the same way during this season, and some may not celebrate at all. That’s perfectly okay! You can still use this “self-reflection template” by adapting it to your own experiences, whether related to holidays, everyday interactions, or any other aspect of life that feels relevant to you.

1. How was your relationship with work during the holidays?

Work-life balance is crucial for everyone’s mental and physical well-being, especially during the holidays. Take a moment to reflect: were you able to step away from work tasks and shut your mind off? Or did you find yourself constantly checking emails or worrying about what would happen when you returned? Were you able to be present in the moment, or did work continue to dominate your thoughts? When we think about this for kids, adolescents, or young adults, think about this in relation to school work.

2. How was your relationship with the people around you during the holidays?

Being with family and friends can be a source of joy and replenishment—but it can also be draining. Reflect on how you interacted with the people around you. Did you feel excited to see everyone, or did you experience anxiety or stress around anyone? Were you second-guessing what you said in front of certain people? Did you feel heard, supported, or understood, or were you worried about being judged? Were there moments you felt confident and at ease, or did you experience tension—like tightness in your shoulders or knots in your stomach—when walking into a gathering?

3. How did you speak to yourself during the holidays?

The way we speak to ourselves can have a profound impact on our emotional and physical well-being. Take a compassionate look at your self-talk during the holidays: Were you proud of yourself and confident in your conversations? Did you feel excited to share about your life, or were you hard on yourself? Did you dismiss your achievements or compare yourself to others? If you are reflecting on someone else in your life, pay attention to how they spoke about themselves. Did they speak kindly to themselves? Or, did they make self-deprecating comments, downplay their success, or dismiss compliments?

4. How was your relationship with food during the holidays?

Now, this is where my perspective as a therapist specializing in eating disorders comes in. I want you to reflect on how you viewed food during the holidays. Did you worry about what you “should” or “shouldn’t” eat? Did you enjoy the holiday foods, or did you feel guilt or anxiety about what you ate? Did you make comments about needing to exercise after eating? Did you feel like you ate “too much,” or notice you weren’t eating enough? Were you able to savor food without judgment, or did you find yourself mentally beating yourself up for what you ate? 

Alongside your relationship with food, consider how alcohol fit into the picture. For many, drinking can be a way to cope with or navigate social situations, and it can even influence how we relate to food. Were you able to engage with others without drinking, or did you feel the need to drink to feel comfortable? Did alcohol play a role in how or what you ate—maybe by loosening inhibitions or triggering eating larger amounts of food? Ask yourself how frequently you were drinking, and the amount. Did you experience hangovers, or did anyone comment on your alcohol consumption?

5. How was your relationship with your body over the holidays?

This can be a difficult question because societal pressures often create a "right" way to look, and if you don’t meet those standards (or do) you can feel self-conscious. Take a moment to ask yourself: Did you feel comfortable in the clothing you chose? Did you compare your body to others or feel anxious about how you appeared? Were you worried about how your body would look after eating certain foods? Did you cover up or try to hide certain areas out of shame or discomfort, or did you embrace your body and its natural form?

Depending on how you answer these questions, you may find that talking to a therapist could be helpful. 

You have options. You can do nothing with this information. You can use it as self-awareness. Or, if any of the answers raised concerns or curiosity for you, you might consider exploring therapy further. We often react in situations without knowing it - whether it's a comment we make, a feeling we experience, or an action we take. Typically, we question ourselves afterward. Through self-reflection, and therapy, you can begin to learn about why you react the way you do. Over time, that awareness allows you to shift those reactions into more thoughtful and healthy responses, helping you navigate future interactions (internal and external) with more clarity and confidence.

Coastal Collaborative Care provides telehealth and in-person therapy. In-person offices are located in Old Town North Alexandria, VA and Downtown Norfolk, VA. Email admin@coastalcollaborativecare.com or call 571-249-5332 to schedule a consultation.