Cancer Part 2
Last year my husband had his 5-year scan after a bout with an exceptionally rare sinus cancer in 2020. As most people know, especially those who have had cancer, this scan is a big marker. You are supposed to breathe a sigh of relief once it is done, and we did. I was tempted to write something in Stylebook and the store newsletter about it at the time because this community supported me through such a horrible time. But I think I thought I would jinx it, and held back - and to be honest I also am not the best sharer. I have a dormant Facebook page but only so I can have a business page. If I was kidnapped and the only way to escape captivity would be to log into my personal Facebook page, I would be screwed because I have no idea what the password is. I don't have a personal Instagram, only the store's account. I am not really sure why, but social media is just not my thing.
Well, I guess I did jinx it in spite of not publishing that 5-year post. We found out last week that my husband's cancer has returned, almost exactly 6 years later - outside the realm of what is likely, but cancer does not keep calendars. He will have a long surgery next week then an even longer treatment and recovery road after.
To say this is a dark time for our family would be an understatement. My father was also diagnosed with Lymphoma two weeks ago, and we also are bidding goodbye to a dog. When it rains, it pours.
I write this post in spite of my reticence to share because I want people to know why I might not be at the store or if I am, why I might seem mentally out of it. Emails and texts will probably go unanswered sometimes, if not often, for a little while.
I will be in the store some to work the floor as we fight through this; I think I will need it to seem normal.
There are also a ton of changes at the store this fall. Madeline's and Ellen's last days are August 31. Shannon is also moving to NYC at some point this fall. After 10 years, I will have a hard time adapting to life without them. Ellen is exploring a career in education and headed to work at my kids' former elementary school, Grace Episcopal, so at least she won't be far.
I know people will ask how to help us, and I know they want to. I would say the best thing is to give us patience at the store. We are figuring it out but it is for sure a season of change we are even changing our point of sale system, just to make things even more interesting. Luckily that really doesn't affect me because I don't know how to use the one we have; if the second option for me to be released from being held hostage was to ring up a gift certificate or return an item, I would once again never make it home.
I am scared. Really scared. But I am going to make it and I know I have an amazing community behind me. I lay in bed at night and am daunted by the challenge of running the store through this but even with our changes I have a great team of people there to get me through this. There will be lots of new faces, too, and some you might recognize.
Also know that when people ask how they can help, I will take them up on it. I am not too proud. I worry about my kids more than myself. I worry about my husband and what he has to go through to heal. I know we are lucky to live down the road from Johns Hopkins - which is truly an exceptional and different kind of hospital. That is a gift and so is his medical team. We know a lot of people will be praying for us and we are praying people, so thank you.
I hope to see you all this fall in the store - either for one of our great events or just on a random afternoon. Just don't be surprised if all of a sudden I break down crying.
