Starting the Engagement Process...with Pride
In honor of Pride Month, Alexandria & Company will be doing a month-long series highlighting LGBT stories. To get us started, I’ve put together what I hope is a useful guide for any client starting their engagement ring search, but especially for our LGBT friends who might be considering taking the next step. Read on, if you’re interested…
1. Decide how and when you want to propose.
I’ll let you in on a little secret. There is no formula that “must” be followed when it comes to getting engaged. Just like you and your partner, each proposal is unique and tells its own story of your relationship. This is especially true for LGBT couples for whom more traditional “rules” really don’t apply. Think about what makes sense for you as a couple and how you want to define your relationship. Don’t feel pressured to do a huge production if it just doesn’t fit your personality. A proposal after a home-cooked dinner on a Tuesday is just as romantic as one that involves fifty of your closest friends and a photographer. Think about what your partner would like and what you’re comfortable with, and go with that.
2. Think about the ring(s).
Now, there absolutely does not need to be a ring -- remember, no rules! But, if you think this particular tradition is one you would like to follow, you have many options to make this process feel more personal to you. Again, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to this. Some of our same-sex couples have only one engagement ring between them, some have no engagement ring and opt instead for wedding bands, and some couples go all in with two engagement rings and two wedding bands.
Coordinating antique engagement rings: (from left) 1950s platinum Art Deco ring with diamonds and sapphires, $2,300;1930s Art Deco ring with diamonds and sapphires, $950
Recently, a client reached out and designed a ring for her girlfriend with us. After she proposed, her girlfriend (now fiancée) then contacted us to design a coordinating engagement ring for our original client! I thought that was such a sweet idea to adapt an otherwise male-driven tradition into a thoughtful exchange of beautiful rings that both can enjoy.
3. Seek out businesses that maintain a philosophy that you can get on board with.
Men’s milgrain bands, 14-karat yellow gold and 14-karat white gold, approximately $450 each (custom created)
If you walk into a jewelry store as a male and the salesperson immediately assumes that you are shopping for your girlfriend, or -- even worse -- if jokes are made about “who does the proposal,” just walk out. You don’t have time for that. I feel quite strongly that you should feel comfortable about your experience with a business from day one. My heart aches when clients tell me about a negative experience they’ve had with other retailers. I find that many large retailers just aren’t very good at providing a personalized, comfortable environment for LGBT clients, and I’ve heard countless stories of other jewelers and wedding vendors making insensitive or thoughtless comments to our same-sex clients. In our area, we are fortunate to have a plethora of welcoming businesses who won’t waste your time. Go with them.
4. Make your appointments, and get cracking!
Matching diamond eternity bands, approximately $1,534 each in 14-karat white gold (custom created)
One helpful tip I learned from a client is that if you’re feeling stuck, you just have to get yourself started. Sometimes it can feel daunting to come up with a whole proposal “thing,” and this is probably especially true when you’re starting from a less traditional point. But, it really does not need to be difficult. If you’re not sure where to begin, make an appointment with our team and we’ll gently get you on the right track. Before you know it, you’ll be saying “I do” and starting your new chapter as a married couple. It doesn’t get any sweeter than that.