Fifty – Bring It On!

Turning 50 is a big one. Other birthdays have had some gravity, but none like this one that I have coming up in a few days. Why does 50 get us? I guess it’s because you know each day you are closer to the end than the beginning - not that we ever know when our number will be called. At 49, I saw more loss than ever before, of young moms close to me, especially. So, I am going to take the fact that I got one more trip around the sun as a huge victory, especially since I have my health.

So, I am not sad about the number change, I think the only reason I reflect on it so much is that I remember my parents turning 50. I guess I remember them turning 40 a bit, but I was there for the 50th party. My dad was first and I was kind enough to bring my 5 college roommates home to Cincinnati and take us all out to dinner. We were the decoy as my mom had planned a surprise party. The following year was my mom’s 50th and I’m sad to say I missed that celebration. My dad flew us all to NYC for a weekend of shows and dinner, but thanks to March weather in Ohio, my flight was canceled because of snow and I never made it out. I remember I had only worked at my new job for a few months and had no vacation so I had an after-work flight that was my one chance to go.

Soon after, I remember my father reading a book called Half Time. It is a Christian book about what you are going to do with your senior years of life. Its premise is that the success of your first half of life might not be defined the same way as your second chapter. I am not sure about my second half, but as I look back at my first 50 years, I do know that they were pretty amazing. Most of it was luck, but some of it was due to smart choices. If someone was asking me for advice here is why I think I had it so good.

1. I lucked into an amazing family, starting with my parents. 

I know this doesn’t happen for everyone, but I fell into the honey pot of life. I also lucked out and am close to my siblings. Whenever I hear stories about families who are estranged or have strained relationships with their siblings, I know how fortunate I am.

2. I get that I was lucky enough to be able to go to college and have my parents pay for it. 

Not many people have it that good. I attended Ohio University and I think it would be illegal to have more fun than I did in college. Part of the reason (besides the parties) was the group of women (we were kids when we met) that I lived with over those 4 years. Our friendships did not end when we graduated; they have only gotten stronger since 1995 when we left Athens. We talk all the time and try to see each other frequently despite us living in four different states. A few years out of school we started going to the beach every other summer with our families. It is my favorite week every two years. All of our kids are friends along with the husbands and I think they would agree that these friendships have enhanced all of our lives. We even plan to retire together.

3. I married the right person.
This might be the most important. My Grandmother used to always say when you marry someone you marry their family as well. She was right, and Brad’s family is solid, well-grounded, loving, and totally compatible with mine. Our family works so well now because each of our families worked. Marriage is a decision, so I think my good judgment gets the credit on this one. In our child-rearing, business-building, and our relationship, we’re a great match and that’s the foundation for getting through good times and challenges.

4. Luck into some great kids.
Once again, I can’t claim credit for this, but I am blessed with two happy and healthy kids. I mean they are teenagers so they have their moments when that sentence is fully untrue, but overall, they are on a good path.

5. Find a job you love and work with great people.
A lot of people see work as drudgery, but I have always loved to work. It is just who I am. Most of this is because I have always gotten to do something I love. The second is because I work with amazing people. I believe you can have the job you have dreamed of but not work with great people and then the great job part doesn’t matter.

6. Get a girl gang.
This is key to my happiness. I love living in Alexandria but not being close to family is not easy. Especially when you are raising kids. You need a support system - people who help you out when you are in a pinch or someone to have a glass of wine with when you just need to get out of the house. I have formed these friendships from different parts of my life. Some from work, kids, or just meeting at the store. But I do not know what I would do without my girl gang. They are all fierce and the people I lean on every day.

I don’t yet know what’s coming after Half Time in my life, but I am determined to be open to the new chapter, to embrace the challenges and blessings that come my way. I fully realize that I’m in a boat with the right crew to navigate the waters ahead. Fifty - bring it on!