Wedding Invitations 101, Part 3: Etiquette
So you have your timeline set and picked out the invitation that speaks to you as a couple. Now what? Now you need to know a few rules of wedding etiquette so you can follow them...or break them, depending on your level of rebellion. Here are just a few things to consider when designing and mailing your invitation.
Who is hosting the event?
The first line of the invitation depends on who is hosting. Is it one set of parents, both sets of parents, the couple, all or any combination of the above? Determine that and you are off to the races! At Penny Post we have the definitive guide to wedding etiquette, Crane’s Wedding Blue Book. It has every way to write your invitation. Divorced parents, military parents or fiancé, children with different last names, etc.; it has it all.
Addressing the outer envelope
When you are ordering your invitations keep in mind that the number of guests and the number of households are different. A household can include many guests. You need one invitation per household, not per guest. That should be a bit reassuring when considering your budget.
The outer envelope is always addressed by Title, First Name, (Middle Name is optional but is always spelled out, no initials), and Last Name. Titles are abbreviated, but all other words such as “Street” and “Avenue” are spelled out. The state is usually spelled out as well, but it is acceptable to us the two-letter abbreviated postal code.
There is a myriad of ways to properly address the outer envelope. An easy guide can be found on Emilypost.com or in Crane’s Wedding Blue Book.
What is an inner envelope? How do I address it?
A traditional invitation is housed in an inner envelope that is then slotted into the outer envelope. The inner envelope corrals all the invitation materials and is where you will add your envelope liner, should you want one. This is also where you list the names of everyone who is invited allowing for greater clarification.
For instance, if you are inviting an entire family, the outer envelope is addressed to the parents and the inner envelope is addressed to parents and the children’s names are listed. That’s assuming the children live in the house. However, if it’s an adults-only wedding then you would simply address the inner envelope to the parents and omit the children’s names.
How do I stuff the invitation?
When using the two envelope system, insert the invitation in the inner envelope with the folded edge first for a folded invitation and left edge first for a single card invitation, so that the recipient sees the printed side of the invitation when the envelope flap is opened.
When there are enclosures like the reply card and envelope and map, they are place on top of the printed side of the single card invitation with their printed sides up in size order with the smallest on top. If you’re using a folded invitation, then the enclosures are stacked the same way and inserted within the fold.
The inner envelope is then placed unsealed (it shouldn't have any glue on the envelope so this shouldn’t be an issue) into the outer envelope, so when the outer envelope flap is lifted, the name(s) of the guest(s) is visible. One final hint on stuffing – make double and triple sure the names on the outside envelope match the names on the inside envelope!
Whew! That’s a lot and it’s only the tip of the proverbial iceberg. Etiquette is complicated, but it doesn’t need to be scary. Our consultants will gladly walk you through any of the etiquette when you order your invitations through Penny Post. To make an appointment, simply email custom@shoppennypost.com today!
P.S. Invitations by Smitten on Paper available at Penny Post and calligraphy by Meant To Be Calligraphy.
