There were days during my perimenopause journey when I would arrive at work sluggish and wishing I could have had an extra hour of sleep. I could have chalked up my zombie-like state to my energetic twin toddlers, but in reality it was the night sweats I experienced most nights that would leave me tossing and turning in fitful sleep. Once I was able to finally drift off to steady slumber, my alarm would sound before the birds even started chirping. 

I’ve mentioned my struggle with night sweats during my lectures and trainings. Audience members nod in agreement, sometimes laughing about their own zombie-like moments. The camaraderie I experience among these women is why I feel so passionate about my work in women’s wellness.

I mention this to let you know you are not alone during the perimenopausal and menopausal transition. 

Perimenopause and menopause can be humbling. From fatigue and weight gain to lack of desire for intimacy and waking up at 1 a.m. in a pool of sweat, it can be A LOT. It can also get to a point, depending on how long the experience lasts, where we begin to lose confidence in our bodies. We begin to view our bodies as a hindrance to our happiness instead of the amazing, well-designed machines that they are.

We go through many changes during perimenopause and menopause. If you think about it, it’s pretty extraordinary how our bodies know it’s time to step toward a new path, transitioning from our reproductive years to midlife. And instead of stepping on the brakes and pivoting in one fell swoop, they know to do this over time—adjusting this way and that way until our hormones level out. The problem is that some of the “this ways” and “that ways” can feel like a roller coaster ride.

Estrogen is a powerful hormone that affects many areas of the body, it is way more than just a reproductive hormone. It is a chemical messenger that has receptors throughout the body, including the cardiovascular and central nervous systems as well as our bones, muscles, and skin. When our bodies hit perimenopause and then transition to menopause, it is not uncommon for our whole system to feel out of balance—thus the night sweats in a perfectly temperate room when we’re least expecting it.

Besides the notorious night sweats, some of the biggest complaints during perimenopause and menopause are hot flashes, weight gain, insomnia, and fatigue. We can begin to feel frustrated by the unexpected changes that can affect us both mentally and physically. Depression and anxiety are common, as are the aches and pains we can feel when we are drained and exhausted from lack of sleep.

One of my most frustrating experiences was weight gain. As a wellness expert and the owner of a boutique gym, I felt like I knew exactly how to tackle the menopause belly that decided to take up residence when I hit perimenopause. If anyone could overcome this, I could…right? Yeah, not so much. What I know now is that we have to rethink our approach to caring for ourselves during midlife, and give ourselves the grace we need to be our own best advocates.

We need to replace the “let’s flip some tires and train for that ultramarathon” mentality, not that it isn't a great thing if that’s what you like. But for most of us, the extreme forms of fitness are just that…extreme. We’re in midlife with bodies that have carried us through puberty, our reproductive years, and many, many years of caring not just for ourselves, but for our loved ones too. So instead of viewing our midlife bodies as the enemy for their quirky unpredictability, I suggest we see them for the perfect design they are. 

Instead, we should tell ourselves, “I’ve got you,” and remember that while these bodies might be a little creaky from time to time these days, they are still downright extraordinary.

I would welcome the opportunity to help you find a new path forward during perimenopause and menopause. In Concierge Small Group Wellness, I share my methods for changing our mindset and getting super strong during the menopausal transition. We can choose a more positive and joyful midlife experience. Let me show you how.

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