Forget ‘Anti-Aging’: Rewriting the Rules of Aging
Most of the time when I write, I talk about body image as it relates to size, learning to appreciate our bodies as they are, in a culture that tells us they constantly need to shrink. But lately, I’ve been thinking about another way our bodies are often judged, hidden, or “fixed” — the way they change as we age.
We’re surrounded by “anti-aging” everything: creams, treatments, filters, touch-ups. It’s almost as if showing signs of growing older is something we should apologize for.
Entire industries profit from the idea that aging is a problem to solve rather than a natural, beautiful process to honor.
But here’s the truth: every wrinkle, every silver strand, every shift in how we move or look is a story. A story of laughter and tears, of time spent living, learning, loving. Our bodies don’t betray us as we age, they carry us. They hold memories, milestones, and meaning.
Think about your hands. The way they’ve held friends, cooked meals, signed documents, held babies, typed emails, comforted loved ones. Or the lines on your face — each one formed by smiles, furrowed brows, surprise, and joy. The body doesn’t just change with time; it records it. It tells our story in a language written on skin and bone.
Yet so many of us spend time and energy trying to erase those stories.
To be fair, it’s hard to let go of the pressure to stay “forever young.” We’re told to age “gracefully,” which often translates to doing everything we can to keep from looking older.
It’s an impossible standard and exhausting expectation. It disconnects us from the beauty of our own evolution, and keeps us from truly appreciating our body that has carried us this far.
That’s where body image work comes in…
Body positivity asks us to love and celebrate our bodies at every stage, in every shape and form. It’s a powerful and healing message — but it’s not always easy to feel “positive” about our bodies all the time, especially when they’re changing in ways that feel unfamiliar or out of our control.
That’s why I also love the idea of body neutrality. It gives us permission to meet ourselves where we are. You don’t have to love every part of yourself to respect and care for it. And, your worth isn’t defined by how your body looks.
When we bring body neutrality and body positivity together, something powerful happens. We can celebrate what we genuinely love about ourselves while also accepting the parts that are harder to embrace.
Acceptance doesn’t mean “giving up.” It doesn’t mean you can’t color your hair, use skincare, or wear what makes you feel good. It means asking yourself why you do those things. Is it because they bring you joy? Or because you feel you have to hide who you are becoming?
As a therapist, I want to ask — where did you learn this message? The message that you have to hide your aging. The message that your body telling its story isn’t something to be proud of.
Then, as you reflect on that, I want to offer another perspective — Imagine a world where we spoke about aging the way we speak about growth — with reverence and excitement. Where we looked in the mirror and saw not flaws, but evidence of a full, beautiful life.
Your body tells your story — all of it. Every chapter deserves to be read, not rewritten.
So here’s to the silver strands, the laugh lines, and the gentle strength of our bodies that have carried us through it all. Here’s to growing older, and to letting it be beautiful.
SEE ALSO: Navigating Fashion When Your Body Doesn’t “Fit”: 5 Ways to Shop with Confidence
